At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
