she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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