Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she pinky promised me she was 18
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
