took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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