so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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