I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
