all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize