from now on my penis is your penis
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
