9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
