U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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