Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
