No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
