I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
