there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
