nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
