I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
