Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
