why didn't you poke me back
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
