I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
