I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
