I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
