Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize