I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
