is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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