Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
