pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just pynch a tree in the face
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
