he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My dick has a subreddit
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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