Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
