i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
