I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
bring money and cleavage
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
