get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
