i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Randomize