I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
