the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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