sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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