Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
