I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
