Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
