Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
