I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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