you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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