After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
