I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
