it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
