Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't think brook has ever known best
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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