remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
