I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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