Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
