In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
