Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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