Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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