I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
