Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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