Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
