I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
