Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
