Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I looked at my own cervix.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
