You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
