so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
