im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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