Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
