her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
