you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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