If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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