I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
